Confessions of a First Time Wedding Singer

On May 14, 2011 I had the honor of singing for my brother’s wedding.  When Alex and Michelle approached me months ago I was so excited.  I was secretly hoping I could be a part of their day some how.  I thought the best place for me would be the music so it was a dream come true when they asked.  Since I was “in charge” of the music I enlisted the help of Mary Kay, a friend of choir and the wedding singer of St. Dennis, and I also asked one of the best accompanists I know, Karen, also from St. Dennis.  I was so excited to have Mary Kay be a part of this experience not only for her expertise, but because I knew we could make some awesome harmonies with the music the bride and groom would pick.

The main songs they chose were “Me & You” for prelude, “I Could Not Ask for More” for unity candle, and “How Beautiful” for communion.  I knew “How Beautiful,” but the other two I needed to learn.  In practice we found that “I Could Not Ask” didn’t fit my voice very well since it was in a lower range, but Mary Kay sounded amazing as the lead on that one.  I would lead “Me & You,” which definitely grew on me as I rehearsed it.

On the Big Day we practiced for the last time.  Everything was going smoothly and I was surprised by the fact that I had no nerves.  Even for a regular Mass I do at church I have some butterflies, but I had been praying all day that God would be there to give me strength.  I was glad to see for such a special day I was keeping it together. 

But then…Alex walked into the church.  He looked so handsome in his tux and all the  groomsmen looked amazing.  We had one last song to practice: “How Beautiful.”  I started it off by myself and I had to tell myself not think about the fact that the men were in the church.  Again, the song was going smoothly, but when we got to the last verse that sung about the “radiant bride who waits for her groom” I lost it.  I started crying!  This song was already a tear jerker for me, but the fact that I was singing about Alex and Michelle I couldn’t keep it together anymore.  I tapped Mary Kay, who was a bit surprised I was already crying.  So we stopped and Mary Kay sent me behind the partition so I could collect myself.  I felt like I was back there forever.  I drank some water and then I paced as I started deep breathing exercises.  At some points it felt like I was okay and could return, but then the wave of tears would come back.  At last I returned even though I was still on the verge of more tears.  My husband John came over and asked what was the matter.  After telling him he took me out of the church to get some fresh air.  On our way we saw both of my parents who were confident that I could pull myself together.  I was glad that they didn’t concentrate too much on my crying.  I think they knew it would just cause more tears.  John distracted me by taking pictures of me outside and my parents distracted me by talking about my dress.  Mary Kay and Karen came out of the church by this point to finish practicing in the chapel.  We continued where we had left off, but again I was half crying, half singing.  We all agreed that if I become emotional like this again during the song I should just bow out and let Mary Kay finish it strong.  They were confident that since the song was near the end of the ceremony I would be fine by that point.  Mary Kay also was sure that I was just getting my tears out now instead of doing it during the actual ceremony.  I was hoping they were both right.

I had a new concern though: I was singing the prelude, which was coming up soon, and I was on the verge of tears.  I couldn’t start off the wedding by falling apart in front of everyone.  I was continuously breathing deeply and thinking positive thoughts, but I was still too close to crying.  By this point I was sitting back in the church near the piano.  The deacon, who was going to preside the wedding ,came by and I let him know I was concerned I wouldn’t be able to refrain from crying.  Dave offered to give me a blessing, which I agreed to immediately.  Minutes before the wedding we went behind the partition and he blessed me with the kindest words.  Prayer has an emotional effect on me as well so I had to hold my tears in.  I wouldn’t say it was an immediate feeling, but a peace and calm and strength started coming over me.  I knew at that moment I was going to be fine.

When it was time, Mary Kay and I stepped up to our mics to begin the ceremony.  I sang “Me & You” with no problem and I was actually enjoying myself, instead of being on the verge of tears.  There was one point I looked up and I saw everyone was getting in their places.  My brother was already in his spot at the bottom of the altar.  I looked away.  Even though I was singing for him and his bride, I couldn’t think about where he was. 

There was one moment, after we were done singing the psalm, that my brother and I looked at each other.  He mouthed “good job.”  I smiled and mouthed back “thanks.”  I turned away from him then so I couldn’t give myself the chance to tear up.  After they were done with the unity candle Alex and Michelle looked over at us.  I had teared up a bit after the song because Mary Kay did such a great job with it.  I smiled at the happy couple, but again I couldn’t look at them for long. 

And then the moment of truth came: “How Beautiful.”  I felt confident and I was excited to sing the song, both good signs.  When we got to the bride and groom verse, my voice quavered slightly on the word “groom.”  I dug deep and told myself “not today.”  Mary Kay and I finished the song strong.  Deacon Dave was waiting to give us communion.  I walked up to him with a big smile on my face.  “Wow,” he said.  “You just hit that out of the park.”  I thanked him and went back to the mic.  I felt relief and excitement.  I got through it!  We had the nuptial blessing left to sing and then I had the pleasure to watch my brother and his wife recess out of the church.  I thanked Karen and Mary Kay numerous times afterward.  I don’t think it could have gone as well without both of them.

I walked out of the church with Dave and his wife Pat.  “Good job, Emily,” he said.  “Good job to you, too!” I responded.  “For what?” he asked.  I smiled at him and said,

“You blessed me.”

The rest of the day was extraordinary and wonderful.  The Best Man and Maid of Honor both delivered touching speeches, leaving me with tears in my eyes.

Congratulations Alex and Michelle!  I’m so happy for you and I can not wait to see what life has in store!

An Open Letter to My Face

Dear face,

I’d like to take this opportunity to have a heart to heart…er…face to face with you.  You have been a nice face, many people think you have some nice qualities, and you’re so dependable when I need you to help me express my feelings like happiness, sadness, excitement, frustration, etc.  But for some reason you have an issue that I can’t help but dislike tremendously…acne.  This is my plea to ask you to grow up.  Acne is an issue many teenagers go through and you were so good to me during those years.  I appreciate you trying to give me all of life’s experiences, but that was one I was happy to not have.  But alas, once college came you decided that it would be a good time to act up and you haven’t shaped up since.  In five months we will have 26 years together.  For my 26th birthday I’m asking, no begging you to give me one gift: a clear complexion!  I’ve been acting like an adult for many years now, but I would like to look the part as well.  I’m tired of trying numerous treatments to no avail so please help me look and feel better about myself.

Yours truly,

Emily

Baby, It’s Really Not That Cold Out…

Last week I had another session in the studio.  I had so much fun and I’m even more excited about how my CD will turn out!  I have to be honest, I’ve been asking myself at various times if I was doing the right thing.  Was this really worth it?  It was a lot more work than I had anticipated and I even questioned my talent.  Listening to yourself is a strange thing and I wasn’t always sure I liked what I heard!  But after having this third session in the studio, I am more confident that this is definitely worth it! 

The songs I recorded were: “What Child Is This?”, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”, “Santa Baby”, ”God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen” and  “Silent Night/Night of Silence.”  It was the longest session I’ve ever had: four and a half hours!  But it was probably the funnest as well.  (Yes, I’m aware that funnest isn’t a word, but I’m working with Webster on making it one…)

I had some friends from church help me out.  Jim played the sax, beautifully I might add, to “What Child Is This?”  It gives the song something extra.  It’s going to turn out great!  Then he also did a duet with me for “Baby, It’s Cold.”  Of course the day we record it’s like 90 degrees out!  So really…it wasn’t cold out.  Then Brian became my vocal bass in “Santa Baby.”  When we practiced these songs before going to the studio, they were right next to me so it was strange to have us separated and in different rooms!  We all could see each other though.  I’m sure that would of made it even weirder if we couldn’t! 

Later that evening we got all percussion crazy and almost everyone got in the booth to record their percussion instrument for “God Rest Ye.”  Jim had already left by then, but I’m sure he would have joined in the fun.  I did not participate since I was getting enough mic time.  My friend Katie even got in the booth!  She played the sleigh bells.  And yes, Katie, you will be given credit for it!  It was fun to watch everyone, including Jay the engineer, go in the booth, wear the headphones and play.  Too bad John didn’t come to visit until after we were done or else I would have made him go in the booth and do something.

Now all that is left is editing!!  I’m amazed it’s almost done!  I’m sure I’ll have some vocal touchups to do, but overall, it just needs to be balanced, mixed, and all that jazz.  My next journey will be getting pictures taken for the CD cover.  John and I will be heading down to Florida to visit our wedding photographer for a photo shoot, but then have the rest of the time for vacation!  I’m so excited to meet with Paul and Kristin again! 

Going through this process has really been teaching me things not only about this industry, but about me, too.  I’m proving to myself right now that I can do this.  You just have to really want it!  And I do want it!  And yes, I’m ready for it!  So move out of the way, I’m coming through!  =)

My First Recording Studio Experience!!

Yesterday was a big day for me!!  I started recording for my upcoming Christmas CD yesterday after work.  When I got home I took a nap because I had donated blood and I was still really tired and felt a bit weak.  The nap was wonderful, but I woke up later than I wanted to so I was scrambling to run out the door!  And then of course there was rush hour traffic and two accidents had happened on the route I decided to take!  AH!  I thought surely I was going to be late!  But I reminded myself that God will take care of me, even though it seems hopeless doesn’t mean it completely is hopeless!  I actually got there with a few minutes to spare!  Yay!! 

My wonderful accompanist, Karen, was there to greet me and Jay, our recording engineer, was just finishing up this last project.  Phew!  I started feeling a bit nervous, but I kept deep breathing and I was glad that I had a few minutes to collect myself.  Jay helped us get set up – we moved the piano so Karen could see me in the box and and for some reason my box didn’t have a mic, which was easy enough to fix.  With all of this set up I was feeling a lot calmer.  Jay is such a nice guy so I’m sure that helped my nerves as well! 

We did five songs: The First Noel, The Christmas Song, Merry Christmas, Darling, O Holy Night, and Twas in the Moon of Wintertime.  Overall I did well on the songs, but I definitely have stuff to work on.  Jay seemed impressed with both Karen and me, which makes me feel really good.  Karen is obviously spectacular!  I think the song I really need work on is Merry Christmas, Darling.  I love Karen Carpenter, who sang it first, and I need to not think about filling her shoes!!  She was an amazing singer and I can’t think about her when I’m singing this.  If I do, I’ll keep psyching myself out and basically make myself fail.  I don’t want people to think I did a horrible job – there are good parts to it, but there’s still room for improvement.  (I’m a perfectionist, what can I say?)

I didn’t realize how much work goes into recording.  It definitely is hard work, but it’s good work as well.  I really enjoyed myself and I’m proud of what I was capable of.  I was exhausted afterword – we did three takes of each song.  That’s basically doing 15 songs in a row!!  We found that the third take was the charm because I was still warming up to the song and by the third take I was comfortable and I sometimes was able to fix something I did wrong in the prior takes.  Jay was gracious enough to give us a copy of what we did so now it’s time to be critical.  Overall, I know I did well, but I also know I am capable of great stuff so if it’s not great then I need to do it again.

I can’t wait to go back in for another session!  We have five more songs to record so Karen and I will be practicing a lot before then.  We didn’t schedule the session yet though since we have the more difficult/challenging songs to work on.  Once we see what we’re dealing with, we’ll know how far out to schedule.  And then we’ll go back again to fix whatever is not perfect.

Again, what a great experience this was!  I’m very excited about how it will all turn out in the end!

The New Year for a New Decade

The year 2009 went by in a whirlwind and now we are all ready, or maybe not so much, for a new year, a new decade!!  I’ve been trying to think of my resolutions.  Here’s what I’m thinking:

1. Start running more regularly (I’ve been inspired to run a marathon!)

2. Write more lyrics

3. Make sure I have enough “me” time

4. Continue learning guitar and get back into playing piano

I think those are good ones.  I’m hoping to learn a lot music-wise this year, especially since I’m hoping to record an album!  I can’t wait to record.  I’ve never done it before, but I’m tired of thinking and dreaming about it.  I just need to do it!  I’ll be doing a Christmas album so by December it better be done!  I’m meeting with the recording studio this upcoming Friday.  I hope it’s not super expensive – that’s what has been preventing me from taking action.  But money can’t rule my life.  Of course, I don’t think it’s wise to go into debt for something like this, but if John and I adjust our budget we should be able to sustain this expense! 

This new year will bring lots of excitement and adventure!  I can’t wait to see how everything will unfold!

 

My First (and most likely last) Hooters Experience

About a month ago a new Hooter’s opened up just down the street.  I’ve never been to one and after many wise cracking statements I could come up with, I realized that I wanted to see what one was like.  Oh boy.  You know how they say curiosity killed the cat?  Yeah…I’d be dead if I was a feline.  I had no idea what I was getting myself in to and no, I was not ready for it.  We went on a day that John thought he wouldn’t be able to see  the Titans game on the basic channels.  It was packed and I was surprised at how many women were present.  When we walked in I was actually ahead of John and the greeter made eyes at me and actually flirted with me!  Hello?!  I almost turned around to tell John I saw enough, but I kept quiet.  Since it was so busy we just had to stand and wait.  During this waiting we were approached at least 5 times by the next Miss Thang waitress saying it would just be a moment after they took a look around the restaurant and saw it was full.  Also during this waiting I saw what everybody was wearing…and I can tell you it wasn’t much: tight fitting tank top and short, short, short, short shorts.  They all were done up with make-up, hair, and bright, shining smiles.  Of course all the girls were tiny so they could fit into their tiny uniforms. 

I felt like an idiot.

I’m not ugly by any means, but I’m not drop-dead gorgeous either.  I was so uncomfortable being around these girls.  Let’s just say I have a lot of self-esteem issues to work through, haha.  John was really good though.  He didn’t pay any attention to the girls because that’s not who he is, he’s never been the type of guy who just wanted a piece of ass.  He also told me that I was beautiful and had nothing to worry about, which helped.  The food was fine and our waitress was nice, but that will definitely not persuade me to go back to Hooters.

The Writing Bug

When I was younger I wanted to be writer.  (I wanted to be a lot of things, but this is one of the more grounded ones I came up with.)  I thought I had some good ideas and I liked seeing what flowed out of my hand onto paper.  Well, life got in the way and I lost it, but I’ve been getting the writing bug.  I love writing lyrics, even though I’m not sure I’m good at it, but I’ve started a new song and I think this one will turn out really nice.  I’m also trying to write a book, but I decided I’m going to map it out before really starting.  Usually I’d just write and even I didn’t know what was going to happen in the story, but since this is a little more than just some story I’m writing for an English class I thought it would be a good idea to get a structure.  I need to make a conscious effort to make time for it and to find some alone, me time.  I’m worried that some of my creativity has left me though… Life can be very draining and zap any good, creative energy you have.  Let’s just hope this is not the case.  I have so many interests, hopes and dreams – I don’t want to let anything pass me by and have regrets later.  I have a thing about time and feeling late (for a very important date, as the White Rabbit would say).  I don’t know where I got this obsession with time, but it’s been with me since I was a little.  I don’t want this writing experience to be one of the things I regret.

Thank Yous: Check!

I just finished the last bit of the thank yous for the wedding!  Yay!  I think that’s pretty good…not quite 4 weeks since the wedding and we’re done.  I like writing so that was no issue, but the cost of stamps is not my friend, I’m not a fan.

John and I are still getting the apartment straightened up.  It’s like a nightmare that will never end!  We have at least 80% of it done, which is great, but there’s still that pesky 20%…  And we’re throwing a dinner party this Sunday so we better get it figured out!  I think it’s helping that we have a deadline though.   

Newlywed life is going good…so far.  haha  Just kidding, it’s going great and I think there’s still some adjusting that’ll happen, but overall we’re getting used to the changes.

I’m a WIFE!

We did it!  John and I got married on August 15!  It was an awesome day!  It was completely magical and everything I’d hoped for!  Everybody had nice things to say about the ceremony, the reception, the food, the music!  Looking back, the only thing I wish were different was my nerves!  (surprise, surprise!)  I could hardly eat anything that day and I felt like I had a million mothers making sure I was eating something. 

The honeymoon was amazing as well!  We went to Gatlinburg, TN (near the Smokies).  We hiked a bunch and we looked around the town at some of the attractions.  We were in a cottage and at first John and I were like, “this was not what we were anticipating.”  On the website the cottage looked a lot roomier and we didn’t realize how close it was to the main street of the town.  In the end it all turned out great!  Even though it was a little small, it was cosy and why do we need a bunch of space any way?  And it was really good to be so near to the main street because then we didn’t have to drive!  Then we had our additional reception, which was in Tennessee for all of John’s family and friends who couldn’t come up to Wisconsin.  Unfortunately, not a lot of people came and hardly any of John’s extended family came, which was really disappointing.  That was the whole point of John and I deciding on having another reception and for not any of them to show hurt a lot.  I was pretty angry at first, but if that was my first reaction and I’m barely related to them, you can imagine how John felt!  But we still had a good time with who came, which was the important part.  We returned to Wisconsin on Sunday and then we got to work!  I’m so glad I don’t have to go to work until Friday.  Although, that does mean my last day of vacation is tomorrow!  =(  But it’s about time I go back…I guess…haha. 

Tomorrow will be a long day.  Got some errands to run in the morning, but then John and I are going to his old place (we just got his stuff moved in yesterday) and finish all the cleaning.  Not looking too forward to it, but it needs to get done.  We also have to apply for a certified copy of our marriage license and then once I finally get that I’ll be applying for a new social security card.  I wish this kind of stuff didn’t take forever!  Because once the weeks and weeks pass of me waiting for my new card, I’ll finally be able to change my name with the bank, school, work, etc.  Then to finish the day off I get to celebrate one of my bridesmaid’s birthdays and we’re going to see the new Harry Potter movie.  A few of us who are going have already seen it, but I haven’t yet!  I’m super excited even though I haven’t heard the greatest reviews from die-hard HP fans.  But we’ll see!!

Tomorrow is the Big Day!

Tomorrow I’ll be walking down the aisle with my dad to my right, he’s going to pass me off to the man of my dreams and we’ll be united in front of all our friends and family.  Wow.  I’m trying to stay calm, but my body is just reacting to all the nerves even though mentally I know everything is going to work out!  My bridesmaids are with me tonight and I hope we can relax a little before going to bed!  Well…we should probably already be in bed, but details, details.

The band arrived today!  I was so excited (and nervous)!  The guys are so awesome – we’re truly blessed that they’re here to celebrate with us!  And I got to meet Kristin, Paul’s wife, who is so sweet and so nice to have around!  The sound check went okay.  Unfortunately there were some issues with the guys hearing everything in the monitors.  I just hope it’ll work out tomorrow!  I got to sing with them a little bit as well.  I was so nervous!  But then again I always get nervous for these kind of things.  Overall I think I did all right.  I can’t wait to rock the house tomorrow! 

*Deep breath*  Well, next time I’m on here I’ll be a wife!